Showing posts with label Top Chef Chicago. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Chef Chicago. Show all posts
Thursday, June 5, 2008
top chef you suck
i know i have really never blogged about top chef this season, but honestly HONESTLY, this season BLOWS, yeah lets keep lisa on, you know fuck it let her win because this season is all about sending home talented chefs to keep a retard who makes peanut butter mashed potatoes on. Yeah I'm bitter, no reality show has ever made me this angry, thanks colichicco you bald fucker, and same to you padma. Honestly? HONESTLY? LISA. This show blows. I'll see you at the finale bravo. I hate you.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Top Chef Chicago, episode 2
Woo hoo,
Stephanie and Valerie know each other from before, everyone knows each other this season. Lesbians switching shoes, where is the kiwi?
Quickfire challenge: create an entree from the Chicago Greenmarket only using five items
That douche richard is buying eucalyptus. you know because he's different. I hate him.
Mark the kiwi keeps on saying mate and he lost his lettuce. Sigh, he's dumb and precious.
Hey Wylie Dufrene is the guest judge, oh snap, Richard just creamed himself. "Our food is in the same genre of food" Fucktwat. Richard you are no Wylie Dufrene. Next week i'm taking a shot everytime douche king says Molecular gastronomy. I'm going to be wasted.
Richard: Chicken soup with apples chickens and eucalyptus. Wylie doesn't seemed impressed
Ryan: Lettuce radishes potatoes, sirloin steak dijon mustard Wylie likes
Dale: Mushrooms shallots radishes eggs butter Wylie likes
Valerie Rib eye steak peaches sweet potatoese tomatoes arugula Wylie likes (he seems to like everything)
Spike: Tenderloin tips apples bread aple cider rosemary
Erik: Lamb chop baby carrots potatoes mint garlic
Mark: Sirloin, turnips mushrooms peaches butter (Wylie compliments him on his sideburns)
Andrew: Lamp chops peaches onions mint potatoes balsamic
Bottom: Spike, Erik, Richard, NICE, called richards dish oily HAHAHAHAHA - you know what, like just because you carry around a mini smoker doesn't mean that you can make some greasy ass chicken. I hate you richard i hate you so much
Likes: Valerie, Ryan and Mark
Mark wins, both the quickfire and my heart
Elimination Challenge: Catering a zoo party, they have to base their food on the diet of the animal that they chose when they drew knives:
team vulture: the diet of a vulture is tiny fish, lamb and rabbits, mark says it's similar to his diet. I swoon some more
Team Gorilla: Vegetarian, they are going to add some meat to this one
Lion: Beef Bison Chicken Beans, Richard wants to sous vide some chicken. i want to punch him in the face
Penguin (I root for this team because i love penguins): herring anchovies scallops basically lots of fish
Bear: Honeycombs and Cheese, sigh whatever, fish
Team Gorilla: Lamb and edamme lettuce cups, banana bread crab salad on a celery root chip black olive blinis with mascarpone
They are doing the blinis before hand, which sounds like a bad idea
Team Lion: Bison Tartar Beat salad with goat cheese foam chicken sate Prime rib with horseradish foam
Team Bear: Venison Loin with Squash, Seared Salmon Stuffed Mushroom Cheese and honeycomb
Team Penguin: Thai Shrimp and crab salad, Roasted zucchini, squid ceviche, yuzu and mint glacier
Let me take this oppurtunity to say that I think Andrew is either some kind of crazy, or on some kind of awesome drug.
Team Vulture: Braised chicken on tostada chip, moroccan lamb meatball ancovy on quinoa croquette
Uh Oh. .
Team Bears mushrooms look like shit, Team Gorillas chips are soggy problems. . .
They decided to go with just the crab salad, no celery root chips.
Team Bear decides not to go with the mushrooms
Richard has beets with ras al hanout, can you find a new spice mix, please please thanks.
Okay the judges ask what happened to the mushrooms and niki's served it anyway, because she's an idiot, wylie just made fun of her
Best teams: Penguin and Vulture, Wylie loved the squid dish, Andrew won, which i'm down with i like his insane ass.
Worst teams: Gorilla and Bear: Worst dishes crab salad, blinis and mushrooms, um Niki's an idiot.
They send Valerie home, I think they get some people who suck so they know who they are sending home.
Next week: Chefs run and chefs cry
Stephanie and Valerie know each other from before, everyone knows each other this season. Lesbians switching shoes, where is the kiwi?
Quickfire challenge: create an entree from the Chicago Greenmarket only using five items
That douche richard is buying eucalyptus. you know because he's different. I hate him.
Mark the kiwi keeps on saying mate and he lost his lettuce. Sigh, he's dumb and precious.
Hey Wylie Dufrene is the guest judge, oh snap, Richard just creamed himself. "Our food is in the same genre of food" Fucktwat. Richard you are no Wylie Dufrene. Next week i'm taking a shot everytime douche king says Molecular gastronomy. I'm going to be wasted.
Richard: Chicken soup with apples chickens and eucalyptus. Wylie doesn't seemed impressed
Ryan: Lettuce radishes potatoes, sirloin steak dijon mustard Wylie likes
Dale: Mushrooms shallots radishes eggs butter Wylie likes
Valerie Rib eye steak peaches sweet potatoese tomatoes arugula Wylie likes (he seems to like everything)
Spike: Tenderloin tips apples bread aple cider rosemary
Erik: Lamb chop baby carrots potatoes mint garlic
Mark: Sirloin, turnips mushrooms peaches butter (Wylie compliments him on his sideburns)
Andrew: Lamp chops peaches onions mint potatoes balsamic
Bottom: Spike, Erik, Richard, NICE, called richards dish oily HAHAHAHAHA - you know what, like just because you carry around a mini smoker doesn't mean that you can make some greasy ass chicken. I hate you richard i hate you so much
Likes: Valerie, Ryan and Mark
Mark wins, both the quickfire and my heart
Elimination Challenge: Catering a zoo party, they have to base their food on the diet of the animal that they chose when they drew knives:
team vulture: the diet of a vulture is tiny fish, lamb and rabbits, mark says it's similar to his diet. I swoon some more
Team Gorilla: Vegetarian, they are going to add some meat to this one
Lion: Beef Bison Chicken Beans, Richard wants to sous vide some chicken. i want to punch him in the face
Penguin (I root for this team because i love penguins): herring anchovies scallops basically lots of fish
Bear: Honeycombs and Cheese, sigh whatever, fish
Team Gorilla: Lamb and edamme lettuce cups, banana bread crab salad on a celery root chip black olive blinis with mascarpone
They are doing the blinis before hand, which sounds like a bad idea
Team Lion: Bison Tartar Beat salad with goat cheese foam chicken sate Prime rib with horseradish foam
Team Bear: Venison Loin with Squash, Seared Salmon Stuffed Mushroom Cheese and honeycomb
Team Penguin: Thai Shrimp and crab salad, Roasted zucchini, squid ceviche, yuzu and mint glacier
Let me take this oppurtunity to say that I think Andrew is either some kind of crazy, or on some kind of awesome drug.
Team Vulture: Braised chicken on tostada chip, moroccan lamb meatball ancovy on quinoa croquette
Uh Oh. .
Team Bears mushrooms look like shit, Team Gorillas chips are soggy problems. . .
They decided to go with just the crab salad, no celery root chips.
Team Bear decides not to go with the mushrooms
Richard has beets with ras al hanout, can you find a new spice mix, please please thanks.
Okay the judges ask what happened to the mushrooms and niki's served it anyway, because she's an idiot, wylie just made fun of her
Best teams: Penguin and Vulture, Wylie loved the squid dish, Andrew won, which i'm down with i like his insane ass.
Worst teams: Gorilla and Bear: Worst dishes crab salad, blinis and mushrooms, um Niki's an idiot.
They send Valerie home, I think they get some people who suck so they know who they are sending home.
Next week: Chefs run and chefs cry
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Top Chef Chicago
So I've decided to "live blog" this top chef season, i mean it's only the first episode so don't hate me if these are late or stupid. Just don't hate me. please. thank you.
I am fast forwarding through the begining, I can do that thanks to tivo, thanks tivo.
:02- Ryan from San Fransico, so apparently he outcooked line cooks when he was 11. Shut up Ryan, cocky isn't always sexy
04: Mark from New Zealand, automatically one of my favorites because of the accent. I'm pretty predictable.
:06: Richard blaise, that faux hawk is dumb, molecular gastronomy, and cooking with liquid nitrogen, blahhhhhhhh
:08: Zoe and other lesbian annouce they are a couple. I've seen many a couple work in the kitchen. It spells DRAMA. Thanks top chef, thanks alot.
:10 Padma, you look gorgeous even walking into a pizzeria uno, tom collichio not so much.
Ahh first quickfire, make you're own signature deep dish pizza, didn't see that one coming A THOUSAND MILES AWAY. Sigh
:11 Kiwi is making a deep dish pizza with chicken zucchini and marmite molasses. Sigh, he has cemented his place in my heart
:12 Faux hawk douche is making a deep dish pizza with taleggio and peaches. Shut it guy, i hate you already. No peaches on my pizza douche, he also just stole someones deep dish pan. All he has to do is snap his fingers and I will hate him forever.
:18 OH THANK GOD, Rocco DiSpirito is guest judge, there was a douche defiencey before
Richard: Peach taleggio pizza with a sweet tea reduction
Stephanie: Melon tomato sauce, procusitto arugla and olives
Zoe: Broccoli Pesto goat cheese
Dale: Sausage, Pickled Kohlrabi, scallions and Sriracha (I want this one)
Ryan: Grilled escarole, Ricotta Salata and Butternut squash
Nikki: White piek Comte, Fresh ricotta and pecornio
Andrew: Smoked marinara prociutto heirloom tomoato
Jennifer: Grapes bacon fontina
Erik: Mushrooms sausage peppers onions
Spike: Onions feta olives
Nimma: Mushrooms onions stracchinio
Mark: Chicken zucchini marmite
:24: bonding time, meh, Andrew is talking, man he is cocky, the house they live in is nice, but i'd want to be in a hotel, like last season.
Here comes elmination challenge: head to head classic dish cookoff, the losers v. the winners 9 classic dishes
Duck a l'orange
souffle
shrimp scampi
steak a poivre
eggs benedict
chicken piccata (the guy doing this challenge doesn't know what piccata is)
lasagna
crab cakes
okay, nimma's making a cauliflower custard with her scampi, do people know what they are doing? I understand doing a play on classics but COME ON PEOPLE
that richard guy just referenced ras al hanout, (north african spice blend, which i knew jackass), man i do not like him.
OH Anthony Bourdain is HERE, hooray, that makes up for Rocco.
1. Duck a'lorange
Mark: Enoki Mushrooms, Squash, Tangerine, and Soy Glazed Duck Breast with a sakitini
Stephanie: Duck breast muschrooms bok choy and duck spring rolls
**Stephanie won, more composed dish, still love Mark, you can do no wrong, my kiwi boyfriend**
2. Crab cake:
Andrew: Panko and lumb crab cake with cilantro basil pudding and orange sauce
Richard: Blue crab, brussles sprouts and apple coleslaw with smoked ras al hanout (i hate richard)
Richard won, UGH shut up faux hawk
3. Lasagna
Jennifer: Autumn vegetables, meat sauce and mint verde (the mint wins points in my book)
Nikki: Classic Lasagna with sheeps gouda
Nikki won, she made her own pasta and jennifer had a more composed dish
4. Shrimp Scampi
Antonia: Parpardelle with shrimp, lobster tomatoes and squash blossoms (I love squash blossoms!)
Nimma: Shrimp Scampi with Scampi with Cauliflower Scramble
I think Nimma's going home tonight
5. Eggs Benedict
Spike: Poached egg with Bacon, Muschrooms and Lemongrass Sabayon on a Crouton (hey spike it's eggs benedict, I want hollandaise!)
Lisa: Piached egg on toasted halla bread with lobster spinach hollandaise sauce and bacon (hey lisa i want to eat this)
Lisa won. But they loved both dishes.
6: Steak Au Poirve:
Dale: New York Strip Steak with Candied Pepperconr parsley puree and Bok Choy
Manuel: Sirloin with Muscroom Seviche and scallion Cilantro Sauce
7. Chicken Piccata:
Ryan: Chicken cutlets with lemon potato gnocci and warm herb salad (where's the picatta?)
Valerie: Chicken Breast with Orange Demi Glace Potato and Haricot Vert Salad
EEK, Anthony Bourdain hates both, niether made picatta says Rocco
Oh Ryan, shut up about cooking since 11. I hate you second most
8. Souffle:
Erik: Pepperjack cheese souffle with avocado creme fraiche and black bean puree and salsa (straight up this plate looks a mess)
Zoi: Rice Pudding Souffle: with candied figs and fennel with espresso (pernod in the espresso)
Rocco thinks Eriks' plate looks like a straight up mess, okay you're not that bad
:: Stephanie wins the first elimination challenge, (duck a l'orange). She beat the kiwi, therefore I hate her, but at least it's not Richard::
Mark is up for elimination, oh no baby, Bourdain just called him pretensious, sigh, please let him stay PLEASE.
Also straight up, Ryan has no idea what a piccata is, no bread crumbs, no gnocchi. It's chicken in an egg batter with a lemon butter sauce. Didn't they teach you that when you were 11?
Oh thank god, they sent Nimma home, as long as it's not mark, says the girl swayed by accents. Plus Nimma can't salt
OHHH next week: Chefs yell! Can't wait
I am fast forwarding through the begining, I can do that thanks to tivo, thanks tivo.
:02- Ryan from San Fransico, so apparently he outcooked line cooks when he was 11. Shut up Ryan, cocky isn't always sexy
04: Mark from New Zealand, automatically one of my favorites because of the accent. I'm pretty predictable.
:06: Richard blaise, that faux hawk is dumb, molecular gastronomy, and cooking with liquid nitrogen, blahhhhhhhh
:08: Zoe and other lesbian annouce they are a couple. I've seen many a couple work in the kitchen. It spells DRAMA. Thanks top chef, thanks alot.
:10 Padma, you look gorgeous even walking into a pizzeria uno, tom collichio not so much.
Ahh first quickfire, make you're own signature deep dish pizza, didn't see that one coming A THOUSAND MILES AWAY. Sigh
:11 Kiwi is making a deep dish pizza with chicken zucchini and marmite molasses. Sigh, he has cemented his place in my heart
:12 Faux hawk douche is making a deep dish pizza with taleggio and peaches. Shut it guy, i hate you already. No peaches on my pizza douche, he also just stole someones deep dish pan. All he has to do is snap his fingers and I will hate him forever.
:18 OH THANK GOD, Rocco DiSpirito is guest judge, there was a douche defiencey before
Richard: Peach taleggio pizza with a sweet tea reduction
Stephanie: Melon tomato sauce, procusitto arugla and olives
Zoe: Broccoli Pesto goat cheese
Dale: Sausage, Pickled Kohlrabi, scallions and Sriracha (I want this one)
Ryan: Grilled escarole, Ricotta Salata and Butternut squash
Nikki: White piek Comte, Fresh ricotta and pecornio
Andrew: Smoked marinara prociutto heirloom tomoato
Jennifer: Grapes bacon fontina
Erik: Mushrooms sausage peppers onions
Spike: Onions feta olives
Nimma: Mushrooms onions stracchinio
Mark: Chicken zucchini marmite
:24: bonding time, meh, Andrew is talking, man he is cocky, the house they live in is nice, but i'd want to be in a hotel, like last season.
Here comes elmination challenge: head to head classic dish cookoff, the losers v. the winners 9 classic dishes
Duck a l'orange
souffle
shrimp scampi
steak a poivre
eggs benedict
chicken piccata (the guy doing this challenge doesn't know what piccata is)
lasagna
crab cakes
okay, nimma's making a cauliflower custard with her scampi, do people know what they are doing? I understand doing a play on classics but COME ON PEOPLE
that richard guy just referenced ras al hanout, (north african spice blend, which i knew jackass), man i do not like him.
OH Anthony Bourdain is HERE, hooray, that makes up for Rocco.
1. Duck a'lorange
Mark: Enoki Mushrooms, Squash, Tangerine, and Soy Glazed Duck Breast with a sakitini
Stephanie: Duck breast muschrooms bok choy and duck spring rolls
**Stephanie won, more composed dish, still love Mark, you can do no wrong, my kiwi boyfriend**
2. Crab cake:
Andrew: Panko and lumb crab cake with cilantro basil pudding and orange sauce
Richard: Blue crab, brussles sprouts and apple coleslaw with smoked ras al hanout (i hate richard)
Richard won, UGH shut up faux hawk
3. Lasagna
Jennifer: Autumn vegetables, meat sauce and mint verde (the mint wins points in my book)
Nikki: Classic Lasagna with sheeps gouda
Nikki won, she made her own pasta and jennifer had a more composed dish
4. Shrimp Scampi
Antonia: Parpardelle with shrimp, lobster tomatoes and squash blossoms (I love squash blossoms!)
Nimma: Shrimp Scampi with Scampi with Cauliflower Scramble
I think Nimma's going home tonight
5. Eggs Benedict
Spike: Poached egg with Bacon, Muschrooms and Lemongrass Sabayon on a Crouton (hey spike it's eggs benedict, I want hollandaise!)
Lisa: Piached egg on toasted halla bread with lobster spinach hollandaise sauce and bacon (hey lisa i want to eat this)
Lisa won. But they loved both dishes.
6: Steak Au Poirve:
Dale: New York Strip Steak with Candied Pepperconr parsley puree and Bok Choy
Manuel: Sirloin with Muscroom Seviche and scallion Cilantro Sauce
7. Chicken Piccata:
Ryan: Chicken cutlets with lemon potato gnocci and warm herb salad (where's the picatta?)
Valerie: Chicken Breast with Orange Demi Glace Potato and Haricot Vert Salad
EEK, Anthony Bourdain hates both, niether made picatta says Rocco
Oh Ryan, shut up about cooking since 11. I hate you second most
8. Souffle:
Erik: Pepperjack cheese souffle with avocado creme fraiche and black bean puree and salsa (straight up this plate looks a mess)
Zoi: Rice Pudding Souffle: with candied figs and fennel with espresso (pernod in the espresso)
Rocco thinks Eriks' plate looks like a straight up mess, okay you're not that bad
:: Stephanie wins the first elimination challenge, (duck a l'orange). She beat the kiwi, therefore I hate her, but at least it's not Richard::
Mark is up for elimination, oh no baby, Bourdain just called him pretensious, sigh, please let him stay PLEASE.
Also straight up, Ryan has no idea what a piccata is, no bread crumbs, no gnocchi. It's chicken in an egg batter with a lemon butter sauce. Didn't they teach you that when you were 11?
Oh thank god, they sent Nimma home, as long as it's not mark, says the girl swayed by accents. Plus Nimma can't salt
OHHH next week: Chefs yell! Can't wait
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
